Steven Baron, Matt Tuiasosopo and Kane Texeira display their hula skills (just kidding)

There were lot of nervous young players inside the clubhouse this morning as they awaited the American Idol, Mariners style, competition.

With Mike Sweeney being the instigator, players with two or less Major League experience were teamed up for a variety show.

The contestents were:

The Confused Kickers: Garrett Olson, Luke French, Shawn Kelley.

Hawaiian Punch: Matt Tuiasosopo, Steven Baron, Kane Texeira.

Sexual Chocolate/Vanilla Cream: Greg Halman, Mike Wilson, Adam Moore.

Bonus Babies: Dustin Ackley, Josh Fields, Danny Cortes.

3Lefteeze:  Nick Hill, Ryan Feierabend, Chris Seddon.

Future Franchise:  Michael Saunders, Rob Johnson, Doug Fister.

The Seattle Newbies: LeVale Speigner, David Pauley, Steven Shell,  Anthony Valvaro.

Bad Bodies Swinging Big Bats:  Brad Nelson, Tommy Everidge, Mike Carp.

El Cantando Batteria de Venezuela:  Mauricio Robles,  Guillermo Quiroz, Luis Ontiveros.

The Caribbean Connection: Ezequiel Carrera, Edward Paredes, Ricky Orta.

The judges were: Ryan Rowland-Smith (Simon), Ken Griffey Jr. (Randy) and Eric Byrnes (Ellen). Ichiro was a guest judge.

And the winner was: “Hawaiian Punch” and each of them received $100 that had to be used to take their families out to dinner, according to Sweeney. Each also received a trophy — a glass slipper filled with an apple martini.

“If I was in Somoa, and paid 100 bucks for a luau and they came out to perform, the only thing missing was the big pig in the ground,” Sweeney said. “They were awesome. Tui had the tattoos, and Steven Baron was dressed up as a cute woman and he looked pretty good in the coconut bikini (top).”

The ‘Punch performed a “Haka Dance” and brought down the house.

“The two best singers in here are Quiroz and Josh Fields, by far. They are good. They could go out and make a record.”

The above is not actually the trio, but don’t tell them.

For the record, the Venezuelan group finished second by one vote and the Bad Bodies were third.

After each performance, the judges would give their opinions and other players would vote via text. Bullpen coach Jason Phillips tallied the votes.

“The panel was the most imjpressive thing,” manager Don Wakamatsu said. “Ichiro had his own signs — ‘Brutal’, ‘Fantastic’. He was speaking in Japanese and Griffey was his translater. I think the translation broke down, but it was great.”

 

Meanwhile, club president Chuck Armstrong walked into the press room and serenaded (sort of) us with his rendition of the Purdue fight song and a couple of country and western songs. At lesat I think they were country and western. Old country and western, like Hank Williams and Willie Nelson.

We tried to talk Chuck into teaming up with CEO Howard Lincoln for an American Idol Mariners style duet. He declined. You should have seen reaction of GM Jack Z when he walked into the room. Priceless.

— Jim Street